Oh Baby
by Lizard Pie
Summary: FaustXEliza. Eliza is sick of Johann pressuring her, so she decides that they need to have a little talk. Please R


AN: I like writing Eliza. You don't get to hear much of anything about her, so you get to completely make it up. I think she comes of as a cute little brat in this. Very nice. Based on a comic from my main page, go see it.

Oh Baby…

Eliza sighed as she stared at the dorm ceiling. It wasn't that she didn't love Johann… she loved him dearly. But lately, he'd been asking more than he used to. He would back off when she'd tell him to, yes, but it didn't stop his… what was it?

It wasn't pressuring, no, because it just wasn't in Johann to pressure anyone, particularly her. Perhaps hinting, suggesting. Yes, those were better phrases.

And the 'no's' were taken very well, so far. Residents of the hospital were assigned strict dorms –absolutely no members of the opposite sex. Period.

So they'd kiss good night, he'd run a hesitant fingertip over her side, she'd shrug him off and he'd be done with it. None the less, it was far more than he'd done before, and it was beginning to annoy her.

With some men, you can tell them flatly 'no' and that's the end. But not Johann, he was so desperate to please her that she was sure it would completely crush him is she said anything. She'd send him smashing down in a flurry of apologies, shame and humiliation enough to make him too unsure to make physical contact for a month or so.

The same had happened on a night when she was nineteen and he was sixteen- they'd gotten into the slightest argument and she'd snapped at him for trying to kiss her goodnight. He'd shied away like a beaten puppy and was too ashamed of his behavior to so much as hold her hand for several weeks.

Especially now with all the stress he was under, she couldn't risk it happening again. She shifted under the uncomfortable, gray wool covers as she thought. There needed to be a better way to get her point across. To make him come to the conclusion on his own with out her obvious help.

This was a chore in itself, however. Johann had always been a bit in the dark over anything social. Manners, of course, were hammered in, but other than that he had quite a bit of trouble. This was partially why he stuck to her like glue, to keep him from offending anyone. He'd read off her before saying anything or for some part reacting.

So it'd have to be a blunt force trauma of laying off her while still appearing to be everyday normality. She sighed –this would be a treat.

And then, suddenly it hit her -the simplest way to keep every man's hands to himself. She smirked as she tried to will herself to sleep.

The hospital cafeteria was on the top floor –the food was edible and the residents received a major discount so it became the only choice for meals when they didn't want to drive the hour and a half home and gorge themselves on home cooking.

His full trust of her was more than apparent than usual as he kept his nose buried in a text book chapter on upper G.I. scans (what he was being trained in), hand clamped to hers to be led blindly. Of course, she did the same when going over a new topic, but Johann rarely if ever had a motive other than going to the cafeteria. And even more rarely was that motive something other than getting food somewhere.

This made her job simpler. He didn't even bother to look at which floor they were getting off on as he obediently followed her –concentrating on masterfully turning the page with one hand. She sighed internally, she almost wished he'd make the job just a little tougher for her. Maybe glace to the left to see which mural he was passing. On cue, he did.

"Um… Eliza… what are we…" She cut him off decisively.

"Look, Johann," she said, voice dripping with sugar, "The maternity ward!" He stared at the long, glass window blankly for a bit before looking back to her, obviously confused. "Aren't they cute? I've always wanted a baby of my own." This phrase was enough to make his eyebrows shoot up in shock. Good…

"Every girl does, really… to have someone you can love and be loved by unconditionally… someone who depends on you totally -to be able to teach them and raise them into a wonderful person. First steps, first words, first everything's. It keeps you up at night because it seems better than a dream…"

Most men are at least a bit terrified of this proclamation of responsibility. Apparently, Johann had just decided he quite enjoyed being most men. He was turning pale with a cold sweat beading on his neck, eye twitching. She probably should not have been enjoying seeing him squirm so much, but what the hell. She was having fun.

"Of course, that's not the half of it. Then there's the money a baby costs. Clothes toys, food, medical care… Not just for the baby but for me considering how difficult it is physically take care of another life.

"You have to go shopping for a home not bothered by the constant screaming which will rob you of a decent night's sleep for months. This causes tempers to flare from the strain, fights becoming more than daily -added to a brat of a child which seems to do everything to infuriate you.

"But this would need to be after the marriage fees and the astronomical cost of a wedding, considering I refuse to be seen as a slut."

The eye was twitching at a mile a minute, his already pale face was as white as a sheet. She smiled sweetly as he gave her a terrified look. Just one more line and she'd let it die.

"Wouldn't it be wonderful, Johann? Little you's and me's running around? Being a daddy?" She couldn't help herself and she broke down laughing. "Of course, this isn't for a long time yet." She wiped away a tear. "How about lunch?" She looked over at the space next to her, shocked to find it empty. The hallway was long and empty, she would have seen if he had run off. Something caught her eye, and slowly she looked downward.

"Oh my God, Johann!" Are you alright?" She fell to her knees to help up Johann's crumpled form. She hadn't thought he'd faint on her!

He looked at her with hazy, unfocused eyes. Eliza smiled guiltily, smoothing his hair. He got up on his elbows, smirking icily.

"You really want to get married and disprove all those people who call you a slut? I'd have thought better of you, Eliza," he said smugly, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

He was talking about an incredibly conservative teacher who considered all women wearing skirts at the knee or higher sluts. He and she had personally bashed heads more than a few times, and every single one they'd left fuming and more pushed to their argument than before.

She smiled bitterly and dragged Johann up by the hair.

"Touché."

Hope you enjoyed it! Please R&R.


End file.
